Welcome to episode 40 of the Profitable Speaking Podcast, where I provide practical tips and insights to help you succeed as a public speaker. In today's episode, I'm going to look at 10 things that will distract you from success as a speaker. The pursuit of success often involves navigating a maze of opportunities, responsibilities, and, of course, distractions. Recognizing those distractions is the first step to overcoming them. Today I'm going to have a look at 10 of those, as I've mentioned already, and I'm going to run down through some bullet points about them and some of my thoughts on them as well. They're not in any particular order, but I think that they're all pretty well even, to be honest. So, number one, the biggest distraction at the moment appears to be social media. The addictive nature of scrolling through social media can consume endless hours that could be used more productively. It's not only a time suck, but it can also contribute to feelings of inadequacy or FOMO, fear of missing out, of course, which can affect your motivation. The fact of the matter is, in business we need social media, but it's a time suck, as I said previously, meaning that it's just going to eat up your day because once you start scrolling, you keep scrolling. And of course, there's multiple platforms. So my suggestion, if you can do it, is to only open it once a day. Now, if there's one platform you use for obviously talking a lot to people. So, for example, if you use Twitter or X, whatever you want to call it, and you have a lot of conversations going on there, and there's a lot of business comes out of that, then fair enough, you might want to open that one a bit more. But the rest of them, just to check to see how things are going, once a day. Log in, check, and comment only. Don't go down the rabbit hole. As I always say to my kids, the rabbit hole is where you start looking at something and you just keep going. Next thing you realize, two hours is gone. Okay, stay out of the rabbit hole. Just get in, check, find some posts that you like, comment on them. Again, make sure it's business related. This is not a personal social media thing. Okay, we're talking business here. Personal social media, okay, is a big time waster, but I still think you should cut it off as much as you can. But I understand everyone gets caught up in social media. While you're in social media, don't be swayed by other people's work. I'll talk about this another bullet point a bit further down, but it's it can be really hard on you to look at how other people are doing so well. The best thing I can say to you is to learn from it. Have a look at what they're doing and go, oh, that really appeals to me. Oh, I can see people are commenting on that. And duplicate their ideas in your own way. But learn and apply. Number two, procrastination. Okay, that will definitely distract from you. Whether it's putting off tasks until the last minute or delaying your important decisions, procrastination can lead to increased stress, poor performance, and ultimately failure to achieve your goals. And that's a big thing. The old saying, why do something today when you can put it off till tomorrow really rings a bell with me? Procrastination for me is a big one. It's a difficult one, and it's part of my nature that I have to learn to do and not put things aside. It's too easy in life to ignore things. And suddenly they can be become big problems because you ignored them. It might be a bill, it might be a submission you've got to do, it might be a quote, might be anything. But if you leave it too late, then you lose the opportunity. And that's really the where the success loss is. Okay. In life, success is in the doing, not the result. So doing things and not procrastinating is actually where you feel more successful because you're achieving something than getting to the end of it. When you do it, you'll feel better. When you procrastinate and put it off, your mind starts to play games with you, and you find that you're actually hurting yourself by putting it off because you know you shouldn't. So it's this stupid game that goes on inside your head. And yes, I understand. I go through this all the time. The mind games will destroy you if you let them take control. I've found the best way to help overcome procrastination is to make a tick sheet of tasks. It's very simple, it's very easy. I put them on a list and I tick them off as I do them. That way, at least I have some sense of achievement and I can see that I'm making progress. And that helps me overcome procrastination. Number three, perfectionism. While striving for excellence is great, an obsession with perfection can become debilitating. Perfectionism can lead to paralysis where you spend so much time pondering that you don't take action. I find this crosses over procrastination in my case, and I don't know about you, but I find it's not necessarily procrastination, sometimes it's perfectionism that's actually holding me back from starting something. Because I'm afraid to not actually take not afraid to make mistakes rather than actually take action and see what's going to come out the other end. There's a saying good is good enough, and it's one that I've had to adopt in my life. Okay. If you are a perfectionist, good is never good enough. So it's a learned response. Okay. Whatever you do will never be good enough for you because of the perfectionism angle. So think about it this way: incremental growth is better than being perfect. So doing things step by step and just getting better each time is better than waiting till you're perfect. It's a common problem with high achievers. People who are high achievers tend to be perfectionists. And that's one of the reasons they're a high achiever. The problem is for some people, it means they'll never actually achieve the level that they want to achieve because they're destroying themselves along the way and they're holding themselves back. So stop expecting so much of yourself. Just do something and keep moving forward. It's better to just get a poster out there than to make sure the poster is perfectly aligned and every pixel's in the right place. Yes, that's something I do sometimes. Number four, negative relationships. Toxic friendships or unhealthy relationships can mentally and emotionally drain you, leaving less energy for pursuits that contribute to your success. And this is so true. You'll know you've been through them in your life already. I guarantee it. The trick is staying away from them. Negative relationships can be the biggest killer of success, in my opinion. I've seen people go from the highs right to the bottom of the world because of relationships. Sometimes you just have to walk away. It really is the only way to deal with it at that time. Being alone in life is not necessarily the worst thing. You don't have to be alone forever, but being alone for now can be a great thing. Especially if you're like me, I was an only child. So being alone for me is actually an empowering time because it gives me time to regroup and to chill out and get myself back on track. But in life, being alone is not the worst thing there is because you can always go out and join new groups. Okay, there's always new opportunities to mix with people that might not necessarily be related to work or your love life or something like that, but it is an opportunity to bring positive relationships into your life. An example of positive social media, for example, is Reddit. And I've mentioned this before in the podcast. I moved on, moved on to Reddit in around 2020 during COVID because there was so much negative stuff coming through the other platforms. Whereas I've personally found sticking to certain groups in Reddit, that it's a very positive atmosphere, not combative and quite supportive. Now, it might not be the same for you, but for me, I've found that's actually been good in certain times. If your partner is your big toxic friendship, then please go and seek counseling. Okay. I'm not saying you should leave someone. Go and seek counseling. Try and work it out and take positive steps to help heal that relationship. And the last one is business partners. I truly do not believe in business partners. I think if you have business partners, you're setting yourself up for failure. Because in my life, I have been in business now for over 15 years, and I've worked with hundreds and hundreds of businesses, and almost every single one of them that was a partnership has failed. Because in the end, one person needs to make the decisions. And when you've got multiple people making decisions, it generally doesn't work. Now, there is exceptions to this rule, and I know that I know people who have successful business partnerships, but the fact of the matter is most people are in business because of the way they are, their nature, and things like that. And eventually most business partnerships, in my experience, break down. So I would never enter in a business partnership. I will enter into agreements with people. I'll work with other businesses like a partnership, but my business is my business. And that's the way I run things because it can create a very negative relationship quite quickly when people can't agree on which way they want to go. Number five, lack of focus. Without clear vision or set goals, it's easy to become sidetracked. Okay. Having too many projects or trying to achieve multiple objectives simultaneously can dilute your efforts. This comes back to the one thing theory that I did an episode on earlier. I have something like ADHD. I'm not diagnosed or anything like that, but I have plenty of focus for short amount of time. I can do a week's worth of work in about six hours when I'm focused. Seriously, I can absolutely hammer through work. But it can take me all week to get to the point where I can do that six hours sometimes. Now, that's not normal, but it does happen that way in some times in my life. If you have no goals, then you have no time frames to which to achieve those goals. So setting goals and time frames stops you getting caught in that sort of loop like I do, where I can do a lot of work really quickly. Having the goals allows me to break things down in smaller chunks and allows me to focus on each chunk individually, therefore moving forward continuously rather than in small bursts of energy. If you don't set goals, things can just drag on for years. And you'll see this in your life if you look around with your speaking business. There'll be things you've been saying, oh, I need to do that, but because you haven't actually focused on it, it's still there in that list of things I need to do. Simple way to do goals is just to write down everything that you need to do and put a date on it. It might be January next year. Now that might be your wrong date, but even writing it down starts the process in your mind. If you look at that list daily, then that starts to really implement. Oh, I need to do these things. And eventually you'll start to remember you need to do these things. I did an experiment where I wrote down all my goals once a year in a book, and then a year later I'd open it up and tick off all the ones I'd succeeded in. It was amazing the number that I got to. It's just a simple fact. Okay, writing things down helps you get yourself a clear focus on what you need to do, and of course, writing lists of I mentioned that already. Number six, entertainment and leisure activities. While some leisure activities and downtime are important for your well-being, excessive consumption of entertainment like watching TV, video gaming, or going out too often can distract from you achieving your objectives. You can distract yourself from success by filling the hole with other things. Now, I love gaming, I really do. It's a very enjoyable thing for me and it's a good stress relief, but it can consume you if you don't set aside a certain time of the day when you're going to game or a certain amount of time per week. You can get caught up in it. It's quite a social event, depending on what sort of games you play, and it can be really nice to be in that atmosphere and enjoy the succeeding and getting tasks. A lot of that energy you could be putting into your speaking business instead. TV is an absolute killer of creativity. Okay, it's written for a 12-year-old, if not lower, these days. It will make you brain dead. It doesn't matter what you think is happening, it will kill your creativity. So either sit there with your laptop and do something while you're watching TV or limit your TV watching to certain shows. One of the things we do is we have a fetch box, and the fetch box allows us to record TV programs to watch later. So we record the ones we want to watch, and that way we're not forced to sit through all the ads and all that sort of stuff because we can fast forward through that. That gives us the shows we want to watch without watching all the other garbage that's on television. So you're not just sitting there watching complete rubbish, you can pick and choose. If you're going to use leather activities and things like that, make sure you schedule them. Okay, it might be that you play tennis or you might do something like that. They're great ideas, but schedule them in, say that every week. You've got tennis from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. on a Thursday or something. That way you start to look forward to it as well as making sure that you actually get there. And the last thing I'd say on this one is actually to pick the things that give you the most happiness. Now that might be watching television, which is fine, but just pick a couple of shows that you really not shows you just watch because they're on. I know there's a lot of stuff along the way that I've watched, and I'm sitting there watching it and thinking, why am I watching this? But okay, it's not giving me happiness. I'm just filling time, and that time can be better used to read a book or go for a walk or something else, or to be working on my business depending. Number seven, comparison to others. Constantly comparing yourself to your peers or even people on social media can divert your focus from your own journey. It can lead to dissatisfaction and can definitely demotivate you. You can be your own worst enemy. It's pretty simple. Okay, and if you start comparing yourself to others, your mind will start to pick you apart. It's simple. Okay. Now it doesn't matter whether you compare yourself to someone who's doing worse than you or better than you, it's still a negative thing to be doing. Do not look at social media as a mark of how you're going. Look at it as a place where you can learn from others. Social media is a fake world. We all know this, you don't need to be told that, but every time you look at it, I bet you your brain goes, Oh, she's doing well or he's doing well. Again, remember, these are photos taken at a high point in a day. It might be 10 minutes of a whole 24 hours where everything's going well. And even then, I've been to the beach on the weekend, and the number of social media influences sitting on rocks getting photos taken and things like that. Here I am being all glamorous. They've literally driven down to take the photo. Okay. They don't hang out at the beach. They went there for the photo. It's just atrocious to watch, to be honest. It's just terrible. But anyway, don't covet other people on social media. You really don't know what it's really like. You don't know what's actually going on. If you're not happy with you, fix that first. Don't worry about other people. Look at what's going on with you and fix you first. Otherwise, it's just going to continue to distract you from success. Number eight, incessant worrying. Worrying about the future or dwelling on past mistakes can paralyze you in the present moment. Learning to manage stress and focus on what you can control is vital for your success. I'm a warrior. It's simple. I overanalyze things that I've said or done for years afterwards and not years. Everybody goes through this. So different people, different levels. Some people, something happens and they just walk away and just wash it out of their mind. Other people worry about it. If you're a warrior, realize you are and start to learn to control those thoughts. Because the fact of the matter is that the person you think is thinking about it probably isn't. They've moved on with their life, they really don't care. That interaction happened and they've got on with things. Accept it, do better, and move on. And don't spend every day worrying about what ifs. What if this happens? What if that happens? Okay, if you're always contingency planning for things to go wrong, then you're wasting your time when you could actually enjoy the moment. Okay. Learn to control it. It is actually a learned response. Talk to a psychologist, read some books. Start to learn to get your mind under control. You can't always keep it under control, but if you can do it for the majority of the time, life will be much better. Worry will make you sick. It's simple. If you worry about things too much, you start to get paranoid. And that's my opinion, okay? Not I'm not a medical person here, but you start to get paranoid about things. You start to worry that things will definitely go wrong. And you can get caught up in little loop that affects you. In my case, exercise helps me pound out the worry. I exercise. Now, whether that's walking fast, used to be running, not allowed to run on my new knee, or going to a gym or swimming. It really doesn't matter what you choose. Exercise will allow you to focus on the task at hand and will release your mind from worrying. Number eight, financial concerns. While it's important to manage your finances wisely, obsessive concern about money can be distracting. Focusing solely on immediate financial gain might also lead you to bypass opportunities for long-term success. Get yourself a bookkeeper or an accountant, okay? If you're going to deal with money, get an expert. Okay. Don't try and do it yourself unless you are the expert. Even accountants have accountants. Okay? It's that simple. They don't do their own taxes. They might prepare them, but they don't do them. If you've got bills coming in, pay them as soon as possible so you know that they're paid. Don't find out that you've created a bad credit record because you haven't paid. Know how much money's in your bank. Check your business bank. Know how much money's there. So when things come in, you know that you've got money to pay the bills. Or you don't have money to pay the bills, in which case you need to look at your spending. Don't buy stuff that you don't actually need. Do better with what you've got. A friend of mine, Julian, speaks about using video in your business, and he shoots 90% of his live streams using an iPhone 7. Now, most people would say an iPhone 7 is a little bit outdated considering we're up to 14, I think. Fact of the matter is the video quality, tongue tied, video quality is absolutely beautiful, and the content he puts out is excellent. So it's not about actually getting better stuff, it's about doing better with what you've got and learning how to use it properly. And lastly, under financial concerns, pay yourself first. Okay? Before you start hiring staff and doing all that sort of stuff, make sure you're getting paid. It doesn't matter whether you're being paid $100 a week because you're just growing your business or $10,000 a week. Make sure you're paying yourself something. You can't expect your brain to work with you when it feels like it's not being rewarded. Okay. Paying yourself is a way of rewarding yourself for the work you're doing. It doesn't matter how much it is, pay yourself something. And then build it as your business grows. Okay? This is really important. If you haven't read the book by, I think it's Mike Malkovitz on Pay Yourself First, go and read it. Absolutely essential reading. Number 10, lack of self-care. Ignoring your health and well-being may lead to burnout, which inevitably impairs your performance and distracts you from the pursuit of success. Exercise, sleep, and proper nutrition should all be integral parts of your routine. I've mentioned it already. Join a gym, schedule a daily work, go and play tennis, go for a swim, whatever it happens to be. Get some exercise. Exercise is absolutely essential. The human body was made to move. If you're sitting around all day and you're not exercising, I don't mean between walking between offices, okay? Get a walk-in at least. Try and get 10,000 steps up if you just need a little goal. Use a watch, use your phone, track it. Eat properly. You need to have a certain amount of food every day. Now that means not excessive food. Work out what your intake should be, what a healthy diet should be. Learn these things. Don't binge eat, don't go on fancy diets. Get a good diet. Talk to a nutritionist, talk to your doctor, whatever it happens to be, but eat properly for your body. Get a health checkup. Especially you men, okay? Go and get a health checkup. Most guys won't go to the doctor until they're literally dying, and literally dying. It's too late to do anything. So go to a doctor, get a health checkup, and make sure everything's okay with you. You don't know what's going on inside your body, and there's things that can be happening that you could fix. Maybe if you got to them early, but if you leave it too late, there's nothing that can be done for you. Your teeth. Your teeth can make you sick. That's just the way it is. When my teeth are playing up, I feel awful. Okay. Get your teeth checked. Make sure you don't got any holes or infections or whatever it happens to be. Take care of them, clean them properly, floss, blah blah blah. Don't die because you're too stubborn. Okay? This is I cannot make this point strong enough. I have seen too many friends and family die because they were too stubborn to go see a doctor. And I know I'm stubborn too. But you need to go and get checkups. It's really important, and especially as we get older. Lack of self-care. Live every day like you want to, as it could be your last day. It's morbid, but it's a fact, okay? Don't spend your days doing things you hate. If you want to go out and speak and you want to do that for your life, then go out and speak and enjoy your life. Yes, you might have to hold a job down until you grow your speaking business, and you might hate that job, but get some enjoyment through the speaking and take the energy you get from that and plow it back into your business to grow it so you can get away from the job you hate. Okay. Live every day. It's really important because you do not know what will happen tomorrow. And remember, lifestyle first, money second. Okay, it's all about lifestyle. Enjoying your life, spending time with family, friends, your pets, whatever it happens to be that you love doing. Do that and worry about money second. Yes, you need money to live, and there is a fine balance here. Okay, but you must get better at your lifestyle. There are so many things in this life that can and will distract you from success. But if you've set some simple goals, make a list of things that need to be done and just start ticking them off. You'll get there. Stay away from negative people and negative media. Sometimes you just need to block people, block TV, radio, social media, etc., to keep sane when things become too much for you. Okay, especially when you're focusing in on a project, you don't want to get distracted by them. Concentrate on where you want to be and just keep plugging away every single day. Enjoy your time with family and friends, and remember that life can change in an instant. You can be hit by a bus or you may become an overnight success. Either way, don't waste a second of time between young and too old, because it all happens in the click of your fingers. I hope you found this episode of our podcast on 10 things that will distract you from success, empowering. If you did, I have a challenge for you. Hit that button and like the podcast and subscribe to it right now. Then share this episode with another speaker who could use the tips and strategies I've shared. Let's help each other grow our businesses and make an impact in the speaking world. Together, we can reach even more people and make a bigger difference. So don't wait. Take action now and share the love. Thanks for tuning in and get ready for more exciting business building tips in the next episode.